A couple nights ago I watched the movie, "Up in The Air", and in the end my boyfriend, Tyler, asked me how I liked it and I said, it was depressing, the whole time. Hid response was, he was shocked! He loved that movie and said it made a lot of sense to him and it made me realize, he's like George Clooney's character in the movie; which brought me to the question, what is the point of a relationship? Is your relationship measured by the time and effort that you put into it?

In the movie, Up in The Air, George Clooney is a guy who flies around the world, living in hotels and laying people off for a major company, all by himself. His outlook on life is, there is no point in relationships ans marriage is unnecessary because he doesn't need to be with someone to have companionship. Clooney's character is a guy who doesn't mind, in fact enjoys, being all by himself; and that is how my boyfriend is.

We have been in a relationship for about a year and a half now and just six months ago we were forced into the long distance relationship and it wasn't until then that I realize how he really is. Tyler is like George Clooney's character and doesn't mind being alone all the time and never really gets deep or show emotion, let alone have passion. And the more that I think into it, I've realized his patterns, he has always been loyal and he's always been in long term relationships but he's also just kind of "separated" with his ex girlfriends showing that, even though he dated these girls for years at a time, he didn't really care enough to be that close to them to be hurt when the relationships ended. He also hasn't ever been "on the prowl" for girls or someone to date, they've always just hit it off and ended up dating. Also, my boyfriend never gets upset about anything. Being a girl, I have of course "tested him" on different situations just to see how he reacts. So when I told him that I was going to a party at a fraternity house, all he said was, "ok, have fun babe and call me in the morning." Or when I told him that I didn't want to be with him because he has no emotions or feelings all he said was, "ok, I'm sorry you feel that but if that's what you want.." No! A guy who really did care for a girl and had been dating for a year should not have been that nonchalant about the situation. Those examples show how he is never really affected or never really cares about anything for it to make him feel any form of emotion; he lacks passion and need for companionship. Tyler's outlook on life is, no need to get worked up over anything, it'll all work itself out at the end. Which is a great way to see life, but certain situations require passion, effort or motivation. He is the kind of guy that would be fine with living on his own for the rest of his life, he doesn't need someone to grow old with. But when I ask him if he believes in marriage he says, "sure, it's what your supposed to do but anyone who gets married before 30 is stupid".

We are still together and after a year and about 3 months he was able to tell me he loves me but now I have in the back of my mind, does he really feel love for me or does he think, that is just what you do after this long. Is our relationship a companionship that won't go anywhere or grow into anything because he doesn't really put that much effort into it? Or is that jsut how he is and I need to learn to love him for that? I will say that, out of all the men that I have ever met, we have the best relationship I have ever had. We never fight because he won't get mad, I 100 percent trust him because I know he doesn't care about "getting women" or want to make ant effort in trying!

SO, should I measure our relationship by his lack of emotions or take that as not caring? Or he does really do care this is just the only way he knows how to show it?

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