Rough Draft Edits Writing to Explore

Leadership Essay - 9/7/10 This is just like every other leadership papers I have ever read. What makes your paper different? What can make this paper stand out? baynews9.com has a segment called everyday heroes you should look into it. Do leaders have to be Famous people in history? What about everyday leaders, do we not count?
Personally I believe everyday leaders would have a greater effect on your audience than old school leaders. Examples based on these people would take this paper to the next level

pollution and tourism- 9/7/10 All the pollution isnt cause by the tourist, locals are a primary cause for pollution<dont forget that aspect> most costal clean ups arent even done by people who live on the coast. I personally used to drive 30mins for a coastal clean up every 2 months. Can the locals be to blame.

Feeding wildlife is also killing off the wildlife..

just some suggestions

Abused Women- 9/9/10 Well written, I think that you should try to relate making a difference to domestic violence earlier. Paper seems not to have a course but will once until you do. I know Eminemn song love the way you lie, was said to have cause controversy because it supposedly made domestic violence look sexy.  What are your opinions on this? Is domestic violence  to widespread in the media. What are reasons women put up with domestic violence? Does Domestic violence only happen to women? I can't wait to hear more on this subject.