Introduction

  I am a professional/technical writing major with two more semesters to go, including this one, before I attain my B.A. My decision to follow this course of study was based on my lack of any real future plans or career path. I figured I would just follow my interests to develop whatever talents I have and see what opportunities come my way. I’ve had a deep interest in literature and the arts since I was a teenager and so, naturally, this seemed like an appropriate path to follow. So far, it’s worked out and I don’t hate myself yet.

    I mostly enjoy writing short fiction pieces and research essays. I find that writing essays is the easiest way for me to accumulate information and organize my thoughts on a subject so that I can come to a decision on how I feel about it. Afterwards, I can take these thoughts and feelings and use them as material for the fiction pieces. Lately I’ve been intrigued by the story of Phillip Taylor Kramer, the Iron Butterfly bassist-turned-physicist who mysteriously disappeared after allegedly discovering a mathematical formula that would allow matter to travel faster than the speed of light. I have my doubts on whether or not this breakthrough was possible and have been researching quantum mechanics to see if, in fact, it is possible. However, this research has been hindered by school and a social life and I basically know nothing.

    In my spare time I like to read books, listen to music, and watch movies and ride my bike. I typically don’t read many American novels, aside from Thomas Pynchon, William Burroughs, and J.D Salinger. Most of the books I read are by European Avant-Garde experimentalists such as Marinetti, Breton, Henri Michaux, Federico Garcia Lorca, etc, etc. I also read some quarterly magazines such as Dogzplot, Aperture, and ANP. My musical tastes are equally as obscure. Most of what I listen to was recorded before I was born or soon after and is not limited to any one genre. I like musicians such as Dizzy Gillespie, Ornette Coleman, Joy Division, Merzbow, Thurston Moore, Nirvana, etc, etc. As far as film and the visual arts go, I have little interest in contemporary culture. I won’t bore you with anymore names, however.

    So that is me in less than four hundred words. I guess I will end this thing with what appears the requisite list of quotes by people I admire:

"Everybody gets told to write about what they know. The trouble with many of us is that at the earlier stages of life we think we know everything- or to put it more usefully, we are often unaware of the scope and structure of our ignorance."
- Thomas Pynchon

"It is simply wrong to begin with a theme, symbol or other abstract unifying agent, and then try to force characters and events to conform to it."
- Thomas Pynchon

In my writing I am acting as a map maker, an explorer of psychic areas, a cosmonaut of inner space, and I see no point in exploring areas that have already been thoroughly surveyed.
- William S. Burroughs

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
- William S. Burroughs

Anything that can be done chemically can be done by other means.
- William S. Burroughs

Most of the trouble in this world has been caused by folks who can't mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has.
- William S. Burroughs

I chose to be an English major because it is what I am good at. That and wasting time. Unfortunately wasting time gets you know where and nobody will pay you for it, so I guess I’m stuck as a writer, which is fine with me. Writing has always been an enjoyable pass time for me and something that I’ve done without much instruction, kind of like riding a bike. When I’m feeling claustrophobic and tired of my poorly kept home, I take out my pen and paper and begin to scribble, not knowing where I’ll end up.

The worst part about being an English major is when people ask you about it. Most people assume that I want to be a journalist or work in a book store. That’s only partly true. Sure, I wouldn’t mind writing newspaper articles or spending my days in a bookstore; reading, stocking shelves, and chatting with people seems like a decently rewarding lifestyle, but I like to think that I am more ambitious than that. I don’t want to be anybody’s employee

I think most “normal” people have trouble understanding the fact that I am not so much worried about living a stable, financially secure life. Most figures which interest me did not live a stable life, nor did they make any money after completing their ivy league degrees. Henry Miller worked as a cab driver, William Burroughs was an exterminator, Larry David drove limousines, etc. And these are the people who have shaped the culture we live in, not my dentist.

I don’t mean to say that dentists don’t do important work, because they do. Without my dentist, I would have about 26 holes in my head right now and be too miserable to write anything of value. What I mean to say is that I’m not interested in  accumulating wealth and objects and isolating myself from the world. Living in such a quiet, sterile environment, to me, would be a huge disappointment.

Last may, I made a trip to Florida State University to visit a friend of mine who was graduating. At one of the parties we went to I met a girl who started asking me about school, which is my absolute least favorite topic to discuss in those situations. But I didn’t want to be rude so I obliged.:

“What year are you? What’s your major?” she asked.
“English,” I said and received a blank stare, “technical writing”
“Oh. That sounds like a bullshit degree.”
“Well what’s your major?”
“Business accounting.”
“Ha. That sounds like a bullshit degree.”
“What are you talking about? I can make up to 75 grand a year out of college!”

At that point I gave up because how do you explain yourself to a person like that. I find people who think that way to be completely un relatable and almost inhuman. I mean, I never once considered that my goal in life was to make money and own things. I always thought it was to live freely and develop your skills to the best of your ability; to become, what Nietzsche called “The Overman”

More important than wealth  and belongings is my freedom. Sure, there is little to no job security as a freelance writer, but I have my freedom. As a skilled writer, I can take my talents anywhere and surely find some kind of work. Whether or not that work requires me to write a single sentence is debatable. I believe that writing is a sign of intelligence. If an employer sees that I am able to write well, that must mean I am able to think and solve problems and make decisions and communicate effectively. In that sense I am more valuable than a machine.

A story I wrote - (part of) A Story

A paper I wrote - Futurist and Surrealist Composition Strategies

Things to Think About While Reading or Writing

Comments and Responses

Andrew's Response to Heidi

Andrew's Response to Meghan O'Neill

David Lynch Story - A Story About David Lynch

On Meditation

I started meditating when I was 20 years old. I had been researching non-chemical mind alteration for some time(dream machines, astral projecting, lucid dreaming) but was having no luck. I also suffered (and still do) from a moderate form of ADHD and refused to admit that I needed medication. I began meditation as a way of escaping the world without harming my body or mind.

I remember riding my bike down to Haslams bookstore and skimming the “eastern religion” section for books on meditation. Most of them were very new age-y and had colorful pictures of mandalas or Indian guys in robes on the cover. I was a little put of by that as it seemed a little phony and I did not identify with that culture. I started to think that maybe meditation was a bunch of rubbish after all, like all the other stuff I had tried before. But then I came across a book titled How to Meditate Using Chakras, Mantras, and Breath by Dennis K. Chernin. This book covered both the psychological and physiological benefits of meditation and defined it’s goals, as well as touching on common misconceptions and describing how meditation can improve ones day to day life. It made the practice seems like something that could be genuinely helpful to people without employing a placebo effect. I was sold. I bought the book for $14.95 and had my first meditation 2 days later.

At first, I was only able to hold focus for 5 to 10 minutes at a time. Also,  I had a weak spine and my back would start to hurt after a short amount of time. After a few weeks, though, I was able to sit for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. This is when meditation became really enjoyable. I would do one session a day, in the middle of the day, for however long I felt like sitting. By doing this, I was able to rid my mind of all the stress and anxiety I had accumulated during the daytime while simultaneously preparing myself for activities of the night.

It was only two weeks before a noticeable difference began to take place. I started feeling more calm  and accepting of the world and I was more at ease in social situations.

I remember my first transcendental experience vividly. It was intense. There was a feeling of deep harmony, where everything was ok as it is. I felt no anxiety or contempt toward anyone or anything. Everything became so clear. I remember thinking that it was silly to allow myself to feel stress because everything here was so trivial. Everything on earth, or in “reality” was just a reflection of something else, something bigger. I understood the allegory of the cave!

I was taking a psychology class at the time and one of our projects was to maintain a self improvement journal where we took on some method of self improvement such as dieting, exercising, quitting smoking, or meditating. All my initial experiences with meditation are documented in that journal, but, unfortunately, I lost it and have since cleared my hard drive.

After about 2 years of daily meditation, I began to neglect it. It soon became something I did every other day, then a few times a week, then every now and then, then not at all. I’m not sure why this happened, but once it did it became increasingly difficult to get my rhythm back. I often think about starting again but can’t seem to make myself do it. I feel very conflicted about this as I believe that meditation can truly make peoples lives better, but how can I preach something that I do not practice myself? I hope that one day I can find the inspiration to motivate myself to get back into it. Writing this piece was/is the first step.

On Writing

I began writing when I was around 16 or 17 years old. I had been making photographs since 14 and was beginning to feel constricted by it’s limitations. Around  that time I was listening to a lot of experimental punk music; bands like The Blood Brothers and The Locust wrote what I thought we were really amazing lyrics, and I don’t normally pay attention to song lyrics. I had never been exposed to that kind of abstract, surreal element before. I was absolutely mesmerized.

This opened up a whole new world for me. I began reading works by Burroughs, Ginsberg, Breton, Marinetti, etc and soon developed an enormous appetite for books. I wanted to read everything that had ever been written. Even the books I had previously  read in school and found boring began to take on a new light. I re read Oscar Wilde, Emily Bronte, and J.D Salinger and was astounded that I had managed to overlook the greatness contained in these works. I had been given new life.

With my newfound passion for reading came an interest in writing. I began free writing constantly. Almost every night I would fill two or three pages in my notebook with nonsensical word associations. Eventually, my writing started to take on some kind of loose form. I began writing “poetry” without paying much attention to meter or rhythm. I would simply organize my thoughts into stanzas rather than simply filling a page with nonsense.

When I moved on to college I learned how to better organize my thoughts and moved away from abstraction. I started writing more academically and less creatively. This created a conflict in my mind. I wanted people to think I was smart, but I also wanted to be free from expectations. I wanted to sound intelligent, but not in an academic way. I wanted to write as if I existed in a pure state of mind and attacked the keys with a mindful, sensitive flow of energy. Of course this wasn’t true; I existed in anything but a pure state of mind. Thus, an even bigger conflict was created. How could I get to that place? How would I rid my mind of any and all distractions so that I would be able to come to a single point of focus? It is not easy. I tried, and am still trying, a lot of different things.

This is where I am at today. I continue to struggle with a cluttered mind, as I feel many others do as well. I feel like these days my energies are spread to thin. I have so many responsibilities with school and work that it is impossible to give myself one object of focus. Maybe one day I will be able to live a simple life and attack the page with a  free flowing expression. As for now, I am just waiting.

My Final Project

My Final Reflection