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Lauren Campbell

Page history last edited by Lauren Campbell 13 years, 4 months ago

Final project: I intend to finsh my first "final" draft of my autobiography by the end of this semester. I really like the path that it has taken so far and I intend to allow it to keep leading me. I woud also like to review and make some of my poetry pieces more polished, as well as finish a few ideas that I have been working on recently.

 

A JOURNEY INTO MY MIND...

I create unnecessary fears within myself. Reading and discussing the events of Elizabeth's mugging and how the rest of us can easily be just as vulnerable has put my mind in an alternative state, that many will probably not understand. I have mentioned previously about my flashes (I think) that I experience and like dreams, they tend to appear and disappear very quickly. As I was just going to the restroom, I heard a small animal in the bushes outside. Although I couldn't see it clearly enough to know what it was, it stirred a fear inside of me that created irrational thought. Walking into the building, I wondered if someone might actually be waiting inside the women's restroom to get their next victim, me. With this thought in my head I headed toward a stall and seeing a dirty toilet, went to the next, which was also dirty. In the third stall, as I entered the thought "Maybe this is your attackers ploy. They want you to be right here!" entered my head. Although I recognized it as irrational thought, I returned to class looking over my shoulder and behind everything that a person could be hiding behind.

 

I have definitely changed my intent for this class. While I have never shared my story so openly before, I think I'm finally ready to do so. I think that it might be publishable. I have thought of publishing my autobiography, I have had an underlying fear of doing so while my father was still alive. At this point I have found enough courage that I think I could do it now and not fear the results. While it is my story, many of my memories are incomplete. Please feel free to edit, both on my page or on a separate page, if you prefer. Below, I have stated my intent behind the poem Happy Birthday, which offers additional insight to my experience. Please have fun with my work, although I can be sensitive, I think I am now strong enough to handle any questions or criticisms, should they arise. 

 

I'm not sure who I would classify as my audience for my poetry. I tend to write for myself, generally to allow me an outlet for my feelings, particularly depression. My work tends to be all over the place. If someone wants to help me organize my poetry in a better manner, I would appreciate any feedback you have to offer. I would be interested in possibly publishing my poetry in the future, if it's good enough. 

 

Don't call me a Lit major! Author's Intent:

 

SchoolI wrote this poem as a result of my inability to pursue the degree I wanted, English Education. As a result, I chose English and American Literature as my major, since it followed the majority of my credit hours. It seemed as though I would never graduate. I wanted to go back to nap time and snack time in Pre-K. I was basically told that in order to pursue the English Education degree, I would have to go to the Tampa campus. As I went looking for places that I could live, it was deemed impossible for me to pursue that degree. (Ironically, I almost bought a condo in the complex where the car was "swallowed" by the sinkhole just a few months ago.) It seemed as though I would be in school forever, just to be unhappy with my degree. Now that I have once again changed my major, to Professional and Technical Writing, and I'm looking to graduate in 83 days, the poem has a much different meaning to me. I can now look back three years later and say that it is attainable because I'm here, but it will always be a reminder of what I felt back then.

 

Happy Birthday: I hate putting myself out there like this, but I think it is necessary for understanding this poem. My father is incarcerated for child molestation, which involved my aunt, while my mother was pregnant with me, and my two step-sisters, beginning when I was 9 years old. My aunt, 15, moved in with my family shortly after my grandmother died, not long following my conception. My aunt left to return to Michigan that July, I was born in September. My mother's best friend had to force her to eat to keep me healthy and prevent early delivery due to her increased stress level following her discovery of the reason for my aunt's disappearance. Nine years later, my dad re-married a woman with two daughters, ages 7 and 10. The eldest was abused almost immediately and the youngest spoke up after two weeks, also revealing the abuse of her older sister through additional inquiries. While I was never a direct victim of abuse, I have been unconsciously involved since my birth. I would wake up from nightmares between the ages of one and two. My mother took me to the pediatrician on multiple occasions to consistently learn that there was no evidence of my abuse. While my father was mostly absent from my life, I was very much a "daddy's girl." I became very interested in becoming a part of his family once he remarried and I now had two sisters. As a typical 5-6th grader, I wanted nothing to do with my mother or my step-father. My dad refused my request with little explanation. In less than six months, I would learn what was really going on and why he refused. About a year and a half after that I learned that my step-mother was pregnant and he had forced her to abort the child. (I have a short story on that that I'm trying to locate.) As a result of this young childhood trauma, I have suffered from a deep depression that even my mother is only remotely aware of. 

 

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Check me out!

Lost and Confused :D

The Titanic Experience

Poetry

Short Stories

Txt 2 the Nxt Gen

 

My name is Lauren Campbell. I am an English Professional and Technical Writing major, graduating in December. I have quite a few hobbies, though I rarely have time for them. I enjoy cooking, particularly baking. The cake pictured above was one of my most extravagant adventures, about two years ago. I also love reading and writing (poetry and short stories), hence being an English major. I love working with kids. I am currently helping a close friend of mine in her third grade classroom, trying to get her students up to grade level in reading. I also volunteer with the Boy Scouts of America, specifically assisting Cub Scout packs, boys ages 7-11. In my spare time during this relaxing 18 hour semester prior to graduation, I try to balance these hobbies along with a part-time job at Bath and Body Works. I have no idea what to expect from this class and that really scares me. I also am very unsure about wiki's, which only intensifies my fear. 

 

Philosophy of Student: 

As a student I want to better myself for the cause of the University. I want to be successful in my career and that requires my full attention in my courses. My goal is to complete all of my assignments to the best of my ability, complete all of the necessary readings, and offer my thoughts in discussion to collaborate our thoughts as a group. I want to give all of my fellow students the same opportunity to learn, give and receive feedback as I want myself. Education in the class is not merely based on the teachings of the instructor, but also the input of the other students. I hope this class, along with my others this semester, will help prepare my fellow students and I for our future, including career and further education.

 

8/31/10:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrative_levelhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolai_Hartmannhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journal_of_Consciousness_Studies,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consciousness_and_Cognitionhttp://www.theassc.org/. I picked these links because they sounded like they would contain information that would interest me. I soon realized that I had followed more of a scientific path of links, specifically psychology. The Association for the Scientific Study of Consciousness was the most interesting because there was real research to read and analyze. Almost all of the links I clicked on within wikipedia had "bubbles" that said the page needed more researched data, aside from being mostly void of information. I would be interested in researching the specific topics to find more and more accurate information. Of course this would require lots of time I do not have. I was disappointed to see that so many things were published without full information, even though I am aware that doing so is a well known characteristic of the website.

 

http://lcampbe2.myweb.usf.edu

Comments (15)

jlgravin said

at 8:23 pm on Aug 31, 2010

I like baking, too! That cake is awesome. I have no idea what to expect from this class either, and it is scary, but I think the point is to just go with it. Find what you have in common with people and build on that. That's my plan for now. Good luck :)

kms said

at 3:00 pm on Sep 3, 2010

Hello Lauren - Apparently I am a little confused about today's assignment. Elizabeth provided me with a community page link for one group ( http://fall2010compositions.pbworks.com/August-31st%3A-Group-Collaboration ), but we are not part of that group, so I am not sure where we should be contributing our comments. However, I did write on the readings and posted a page to my personal page (Writings on Readings). Additionally, somewhere on the Aug 31 calendar (I think) I posed the question about my confusion and hope later to find some more direction. Have fun reading and writing!

Lauren Campbell said

at 12:02 am on Sep 4, 2010

Hey Trina. I created a page called Lost and Confused :D to play off of what we came up with on Tuesday. I don't know what or if there's a difference between a page and a community page, but I guess it is what it is. I tagged you in it so hopefully you can find it and post. Let me know how it goes!

kms said

at 12:32 am on Sep 4, 2010

Hey Lauren ~ Check out Understanding Comics again also. April pulled notes from pages from M.O'Neill and my page and added them in with hers. If you have any additions to those readings you can copy and paste in yours. She basically separated out the readings, left an extra line in between the posters and made a note to first name at the end of each new post. You can then add your name as a tag. I will now check out your Lost and Confused. (I would have been done earlier, but my internet connection crashed and burned during editing.

kms said

at 1:28 am on Sep 8, 2010

Your slide show is awesome!

kms said

at 1:03 am on Sep 9, 2010

Lauren - maybe you can add some links on this page to your Lost and Confused and / or Titanic. Then we can all find your portfolio of work easier and follow you. Cheers!

Lauren Campbell said

at 11:34 pm on Sep 9, 2010

How's that? I'm still getting used to wiki-ing, but I think I'm getting there!

H.I.M. said

at 12:04 am on Sep 29, 2010

You mentioned publishing your poetry. If you are interested, you could submit to Sigma Tau Delta for the Literary Journal I've been spamming about. Just send what you want to litsubmit@gmail.com or look at my extensive blurb under 'Announcements.' I think you are good enough, certainly.

I can totally relate to using poetry as an outlet, especially during episodes of depression. If I find any constructive feedback or can contribute something to what you wrote concerning organizing your poetry, I will do so. I deeply respect what you are doing with it.

ShareRiff said

at 12:40 am on Sep 29, 2010

Yes, I would like to chime in with Heidi and express a deep respect

kms said

at 4:49 pm on Sep 29, 2010

Wow - you are one courageous woman for being so bold and share your experience! Definitely will think about how to organize your poetry and if I come with with any ideas, will let you know. Sounds like Heidi has one outlet. There is also a book, published annually, Writer's Digest, that lists parameters for acceptance on all types of works (i.e., what publications accept unsolicited, etc.). (At least I think it's still out there annually.)

shawn dudley said

at 8:05 pm on Oct 5, 2010

This is courageous writing. I am struggling with the idea opening these doors for myself, but I find it frightening. I have a lot of respect for you.

Lauren Campbell said

at 10:44 pm on Oct 5, 2010

While many still look at me as young, I think time makes a big difference. For some it is absurd to think of a 23 year old writing some of the pieces I have written, and still be alive. But as far as perspective goes, I have been dealing with this since I was 8 or 9 years old. While you mentioned, Shawn, that you are 20 years older than I am, I still have 15 years of experience dealing with these situations myself. While it still scares me to put myself out there like I am, I know that it can serve several purposes. Not only is it a release for me personally, but also an encouragement to other students, writers, and just people in general. I don't really expect to see a group of "experience writers," but I hope that through this those who have commented as well as others in the class, who have remained silent, will learn to find an outlet of release. I definitely intend to follow the path of "memory" that we discussed and hope that others will join in. (See my Haiku, in my poetry link) I was thinking that my autobiography, in "Short Stories," might be publishable in a psychology journal. I know that many of us have taken or are taking literary criticism this semester, so bring on the psychoanalytical criticism!

sheena said

at 1:09 pm on Dec 2, 2010

I like where you express your irrational fears of being attacked at the beginning of this page. I thought I was the only one who experienced that. I had a young friend die of an extreme act at the beginning of this semester and ever since I have thought about my own self being taken or being hurt in a quick, extreme instance. It amazes me how within a blink of an eye you could be simply going about your day, and then BAM, someone stabs you or your hit by a car, and everything changes, your whole world can be turned around. It's something I'm working on pushing out of my mind and my way of thinking, but for now I can totally side with you on the irrational thoughts of violent acts, as if almost I was the main character in a lifetime murder movie.

kms said

at 2:35 pm on Dec 2, 2010

Laren (and Sheena) - This is an interesting read. Especially if you are writing your autobiography. And why not at 23 if you've lived through more than some experience in a lifetime? So, you write the sequel at 70. (grin) http://search.barnesandnoble.com/In-an-Instant/Lee-Woodruff/e/9780812978254/?itm=4&USRI=in+an+instant

shawn dudley said

at 6:32 pm on Dec 10, 2010

Good luck Lauren.

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