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September 11, 2001

This version was saved 12 years, 6 months ago View current version     Page history
Saved by kms
on September 10, 2011 at 11:07:22 pm
 

I was living in New York City at the time, working in the financial district.

 

You won’t hear me refer to that day as 9/11.  I hate hearing those words.  I hate seeing those numbers in print.  Nine- eleven - it’s like giving the tragedy those terrorists imposed upon us extra weight. The sound of those words knaw at me.  "Nine-eleven."  Like "the Holocaust."  The sound makes me more than queasy.  The events were terrible enough to stand alone.  It was a day . . . a horrifying day forever emblazoned in my mind.  September 11, 2001.  I was there.  Up close and personal.

 

The morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001 began as any other Tuesday would for me while living on the island of Manhattan.  On this particular day, the morning sky was exceptionally clear . . . a beautiful blue sky scattered with puffy while clouds.  The air was crisp, a glorious day sans Florida humidity.  Ahhh, September in New York!  I had plans to walk to Brooks Brothers on Liberty Street at lunchtime to purchase a sweater for the cool autumn weather to come.  I had worn the navy blue pants I wanted the sweater to go with.  The temperature was slightly higher than average for this time of year so, instead of my pumps, I had on a pair of high heeled brown leather sandals.

 

I board my usual number 15 South Street Seaport bus downtown.  I started taking the bus in August for the air conditioned ride.  Yes, New York City subways are air conditioned, but the transfer stations are not.  The favorite part of my Monday through Friday ride was when the bus stopped on Houston Street across from Sara D. Roosevelt Park, and I could watch the old Chinese women practicing Tai Chi.

 

I get off on Water Street across from One New York Plaza and pick up my usual cup of coffee (large with cream) and bagel (with butter and jelly) at the Water Street Café.  The friendly Middle East immigrants that own the café know my order.  I’m amazed daily at how they remember the orders of the hundreds of regulars that patronize this café each morning.

 

My day at work begins with nothing unusual.  I review the previous day’s trade reports for the firm’s merger arbitrage funds for any discrepancies.  Shortly after 8:45 a.m. a headline crosses my Bloomberg screen about the possibility of a small plane crashing into the north tower of the World Trade Center (WTC).  The people in my group begin receiving calls from friends and colleagues, and I receive a call from a friend and former co-worker at Raymond James in St. Petersburg.  They are all calling to inquire about what we can see.  Our office is on the 30th floor with a clear view of the WTC.  However, the buildings were so perfectly aligned that from the view from our office windows we are only able to view the one tower; the north tower, that had been hit, was directly opposite the south tower and could not be seen.

 

All we could see were papers flying.  8 ½ by 11 inch sheets of paper swirling across the city skyline like confetti from a ticker tape parade.  Drapes from office windows flying across the sky and landing on the roof top of Goldman, Sachs at 85 Broad Street.

 

News reports were now stating the plane was not a small aircraft, but a jet.  No one really knew what to make of the situation yet.  Fifteen minutes passed by.  Wild and crazy chatter and imaginings.

 

Then the roar!  The sound of a jet moving at 500 miles an hour only blocks from my window.  The sight of this huge, blue plane heading straight towards the tower.  Then, the best way to describe it was…did you see the move Ghost starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swazye?  The scene where Swayze’s character is learning how to move pennies with his mind and walk through walls?  It was like that - like when Swayze's character walked through the side of the subway car.  It wasn’t like a crash and the breaking up of aircraft parts.  It was like the plane just disappeared into the building and then exploded into this huge fireball.  Hundreds of lives lost.  A picture I will never forget.  It changes you.  If it doesn’t, then . . .clearly something must be wrong with you.

 

I told my friend “I need to get out of here” and dropped the phone.  I thought “what is happening with air traffic control!?!?”  My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the thought that this was deliberate.

 

There was the brief thought that I should take the stairs, like in a fire, in case our building was hit and lost electricity.  But walking down 30 floors takes time.  The elevator filled with people.  A bunch of normally elevator-silent New Yorkers spewed their thoughts wildly and randomly.  It must be terrorists.  Who would do such a thing?  “I know someone in that tower” I thought out loud.  My boss assured me she was out of the building and fine.  I thought his remarks were ridiculous.  There was no way all those people were out of those buildings.

 

Once out of the building I worked in, I remember standing outside with my boss thinking 'what next?'  I thought for sure, quite calmly and matter of fact, that 'this could be the last day of my life.’  It's strange what goes through one's mind.  Not really what I would have imagined.  One thought was that at least the people I knew would know that I had loved them or cared about them - if only because of my affinity for correspondence; money well spent at Hallmark and Cranes.  It was like a gift to me that day, actually, the peace of knowing that.

 

My boss suggested we take the subway since with the crowds of people flowing into the streets there was no way we were getting a taxi.  I thought he’d lost his mind.  There was no way I was going underground.  I imagined more buildings being hit, then crashing and crushing the subways.  I suggested we walk.

 

The financial district is on the southern tip of the island of Manhattan.  The twin towers of the World Trade Center were on the west side.  We headed east to then walk north, as far north as we could possibly get.  Periodically we turned around to view, in awe, the fire and smoke behind us.  Thousands of people walked with us: a herd of frightened, astonished New Yorkers.  A crowd of individuals that would normally push and shove their fellow man on the subways, now managed to politely step around each other and offered “excuse me”s  when they couldn’t. 

 

People shared their stories.  A young man told us how he was evacuating the building and was on the 55th floor stairwell of the south tower when he felt the building shake.  I couldn't imagine the range of emotions he must have felt.

 

People gathered around parked cars to listen to news reports on car radios.  As we walked, we learned that U.S. airspace was closed and all aircraft now in flight were required to land. We learned of the plane crash in DC.  We heard, erroneously, that the Sears Tower in Chicago was hit.  We imagined what buildings in New York would be next.  We considered the United Nations building for all it represented and because it stood tall on the shore of the East River and was probably an easy target.  We imagined the Empire State Building or one of the huge skyscrapers on the border of the island, like One New York Plaza where we worked. 

 

We continued on and then heard the sounds of jets.  The frantic crowd faced the sky, turning haphazardly with heads up, trying to figure out where the sounds were coming from and which way we should go.  But, there was no where to hide.  I thought ‘this is what it’s like for those people who live in war torn countries who are trying to escape bombs.’  Then we saw the F-15s come into focus.  Apparently, fighter jet engines are so loud that we could hear them before we could see them.  It was the USAF flying cover.  A collective cheer!

 

We walked through the Fulton Street Fish Market.  Remains of dead fish squished over my sandals and up between my toes.  We stopped in a local pub that had a TV so we could hear another news update.  “Restrooms for customers only” is standard fare in the city.  Today servers offered free water for the weary and the use of the facilities for anyone who needed them.  We learned of the plane crash in Pennsylvania.

 

We were nearing Union Square when we heard screams and cries!  It took a few minutes to find out what was going on.  People hung out of apartment windows and yelled down to us – “The towers just fell! The towers just fell!”  We turned around . . . and they were gone.

 

~ ~ ~

 

I used to wonder, when I saw film scenes where soldiers who had trudged miles and miles in battle sat down to rest and took off their boots and socks to find bloody feet – how could they do that?  How could they walk while in such pain?  I don’t wonder any more.  They didn’t feel it.  Not while they were trying to escape the danger anyway.

 

The body is an amazing thing.  When it can, it protects us.  It assists us to fight or flee.  The rush of adrenaline we get when we feel threatened helps move our blood flow to our muscles where we need it and reduces it in our hands and feet to prevent or reduce bleeding.  Additionally, our body produces natural endorphins to protect us from pain.  This I learned from personal experience on September 11, 2001 when I walked four miles in 3” high heeled sandals.  I felt no physical pain until I reached the safety of my apartment.  Once inside, I removed my shoes to find huge blisters all over my feet.  If I had been walking anywhere else and acquired even one of those blisters, even half the size, I would have been whining for sure and looking for a Band-Aid.

 

People said they couldn’t believe the towers fell.  I could.  I couldn’t imagine how they ever would have stood.  I was amazed they fell into themselves straight down, quite neat and tidy actually.  I imagined them falling over, crashing into other skyscrapers and creating a domino effect of buildings upon buildings crashing in rows.  When you stare at a gaping 20-story hole* billowing smoke and filled with a ball of fire it’s not difficult to imagine that building coming down.  People that came to the area to visit were in awe at the amount of debris.  I looked at 14 stories of rubble, remembered how high the towers were and thought – where did it all go?

 

 

What I took away from that day? 

 

A new sense of the expression “peace and quiet.”  If you’ve ever been to NYC, you know it’s a noisy city.  There's the hum of generators and air conditioners or heating systems; subway brakes screeching; taxi horns blaring; the engine noise from trucks, buses and cars.  People yelling down from apartment windows and talking on the street, dogs barking in the park - it’s one big, noisy symphony of sound 24/7.  On the evening of September 11, 2001, save for the occasional sound of an ambulance siren or an F15 flying cover, you could hear a pin drop.  It was quiet…but there was no peace.

 

The worst of times can bring out the best in people. Human nature really is kind and compassionate.  When tragedy looms its ugly head, we are there for each other.  There is no need to be afraid of being alone in a strange town or a strange country if tragedy should strike.  There will be someone who needs your help who will also help you.  Find each other.

 

There is no such thing as bad weather or an ugly day alone without other considerations. After the events of September 11, 2001 when I heard someone in New York comment that it was an ugly, gray, rainy day I’d think – “what, are you crazy!?  It’s a DAY!  And I am here to feel the rain, and feel the wind, and experience life under these gray skies.  Now I’m not perfect by any stretch of the word.  We all have days where we sigh or complain.  But when I was living in New York and working in the financial district, when I would be human and forget to be grateful, as I walked the streets in lower Manhattan I’d swear I’d receive inspiration from the angel voices of those that perished – live, LIVE!  Today is a great day!

 

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* For reference, the Bank of America building in St. Petersburg is 28 stories; imagine a fiery hole more than 2/3rds the size of that building.

 

A favority charity http://www.seedsofpeace.org  "Our mission is to help young people from regions of conflict develop the leadership skills necessary to advance reconciliation and coexistence."

 

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