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Page history last edited by kms 13 years, 5 months ago

Not actual edits, certainly not remixs, but more lengthy comments on peers' pages.

 

9-29-10            I Hate Clichés

 

This is rambling in response to an email that I received shortly after reading Boda’s writing They’re Just Words.  Someone emailed to let me know they were thinking of me and my mother (see The A-Bomb).  You’ve heard both clichés, I’m sure:

           

               “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

                “G~d doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”

 

In reference to the first – I don't buy that one any more.  After my sister was crashed into by a drunk driver, I realize that sometimes what doesn't kill you just gives you a limp and impedes your performance. 

 

In reference to the second – I don’t buy that one either.  Children commit suicide from being bullied - so sometimes, seriously, people receive more than they can handle

 

And if you believe this, it's not because you’re taking the attitude of Pooh’s friend Eeyor…and it’s not because you’re looking at life as “the cup is half empty” vs. “the cup is half full” - it's just life.  What doesn’t kill us does not always make us stronger and sometimes we do have more than we can handle, especially if we believe we are in it alone.

 

True, the reality is – another cliché – “No one said life is fair.”  It would be nice if this weren’t true.  However, we're human and sometimes for some life is too much...or they don't gain a lesson, just an injury.  Sometimes the best we can do is be there for each other…so that life isn’t too much for someone to handle or to help someone see a lesson by our example.  Words can hurt and words can heal.  Let’s hope that by educating people – with insightful writing such as Boda’s (or powerful films to educate those who experience life more visually) – we teach the generations after us to judge less and to love more.  And to follow the advice of this bumper sticker cliché “Just Be Kind”.

 

Response to Adam's Perhaps

 

Are we talking corned beef here?  Or do we need to have the say no to drugs conversation?  Thoughtful writing.  "Perhaps my candles will also burn long    after I have gone, fading   into a dream"  Here I think of death...and "was he wondering if after he is gone, his energy will live on in how he has touched his environment and the lives around him while he was here?"  The talk about sleep...apologies, but I am currently sleep deprived, so right now all I can think about here is actual sleep.  "Where are you tonight..." moves me to think how sometimes we think we are alone in a situation when others may be in our same situation, or in our situation just in their own unique way.  "The man in charge, the woman in charge" . . .how does one perceive G~d?  Reading the last verse, I ponder, is the author (Adam) referring to dropping out of society? Does he really only pretend to care? (I think not!) Give up on idealism and become what society thinks he should be? The one constant in life is change.  My definition of good poetry, whether one enjoys free verse or prefers other styles, is writing that moves the reader to think...and if it moves them to think outside their normal boundaries of comfortable thought - all the better.  You've done that here.

 

Response to Adam’s about me

 

This is an interesting piece – like free verse poetry almost, written in prose style.  I liked the contrast between “sick of intelligence and bored in ignorance.”  I wasn’t sure what to think about time being like a shell, but then sometimes I need to read an intelligent poem a time or two in order to get the drift. “I am broke and still spending” - do you read Wordsworth?  (He has a line in ‘The world is too much with us’ that reads “Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.”  When I read “I need to need” what kept coming to mind (don’t laugh) is Barbra Streisand’s song “People”.

 

Response to Adam's By the Bay

 

Adam is everywhere. Adam is an awesome writer! Truly, it's difficult to edit your papers since you write so eloquently. I am hard pressed to find anything to suggest. So now what? I have to nit pick? Okay, paragraph 3, last sentence reads slightly awkward to me. I tried "the youngest boy is continually being scolded by the other two" or "the youngest boy is scolded continuously by the other two". The first suggestion may be a split infinitive, but I read in (apologies, but I don't have my books with me, but think it was a text Academic Writing for Graduate Students, Essential Tasks and Skills, Feak & Swales) that sometimes split infinitives work to save us from ambiguity. Although I did not find your sentence ambiguous. I also expected a stop after "I don't know" i.e., "I don't know. That's a good question." However, the run on may just be your voice and the way the boys are speaking and THAT I would not want to mess with since your voice is quite recognizable and I enjoy hearing/reading it. Should this be commented in your document? Let me know which is best since I am still the wiki rookie here. Thanks.

 

Comments to beauty of this areaDrug and Alcohol Abuse: How it connects to homelesness

Additionally, if you continue writing the paper, you might consider checking into why and when some laws pertaining to mental health changed.  During the Reagan administration laws were enacted to protect individuals from being institutionalized against their will.  However, some mental health care professionals (I remember one bay area PhD in particular who voiced his opinion on talk radio) believed the laws were enacted more to save the government dollars vs. actually being done to protect the welfare of the innocent.  Many mentally ill people are on the street by personal 'choice' because they have no where else to go and no family, friends, or trusted individuals to assist them to obtain the help they may not even realize they need.  Additionally, if they do not have an address, they are not able to receive social security disability insurance checks in order to support themselves.  It becomes a sad circle of despair

 

Response to Lauren’s Short Stories

 

Interesting idea, especially since books have been published from a dog's point of view, why NOT a shoe? I am a fellow lover of ASICS also . . .and I will have to admit that their advertising logo motivated me to try them (previous, apparently fickle, Saucony lover; but now I have this new relationship). Did you know they have their own blog? (Hmmm...an idea for writing?)[For those not familiar: ASICS is the acronym for the Latin "anima sana in corpore sano" or 'sound mind, sound body'.] I also appreciated the subtle lesson woven in - not to be jealous of each other or compare ourselves to others, but to appreciate individual qualities and realize we all have something to offer and are all appreciated for different reasons.

 

Response to Lauren’s Questions?

 

The ultimate question – who am I?  We spend a lifetime answering this one.  I thought of school bullies when I read this and that the younger set would really be able to relate and maybe be moved to write their own pieces.  Too bad that people don’t outgrow being judgmental.  Yes, agree to disagree and live in harmony!  Again, as I commented to Adam on “Perhaps” – my humble opinion is that poetry that moves us to think is good poetry! (The ‘academics’ may not agree, but really, what other purpose does poetry possess?)

 

Comments to Kelsey’s A Political Commentary

 

Enjoyed this piece; found the link on Elizabeth’s page. This sentence confused me though: "What many Americans don’t realize is that much of their healthcare is already under the control of the government (not to mention other institutions like the police department and public library.)" I think you mean that the police dept and public library are under govt control, but on first reading I read it as healthcare is under control of the police dept and public library. Of course, that makes no sense, so I know what you meant.

An interesting note is that even though Canadians wait SO LONG for their medical tests due to the country having less medical equipment than the
U.S., their life expectancy is longer than the avg. American.

People are concerned about govt controlling healthcare, probably rightly so, but you do note that private ins also controls access to healthcare by denying pmt. After I had a cardiac echo-stress test, an ins co. at first denied pmt. stating the test was "not medically necessary". I didn't have a heart problem. Of course, the point of my doctor deciding to order a medical "test" is to rule out or confirm a problem or condition. Good thing the cardiologist wrote them, because I probably would have written - "WHAT!? If my annual mammogram comes back that I don't have cancer, you're not going to pay for that either!?"

You bring up many good points. I was looking for references, though, on your statistics. (works cited?)

 

Comments to Kelsey's Travel Article Remix

 

Most people that use point and shoots use digital, but you might want to add that to state a digital point and shoot.  BTW, love the photos! Some great shots!
First paragraph:  "Having never been to Sin City before, I was not exactly what to expect." Is there a missing word here? "With its dramatic architecture, modernized hotels and restaurants, and moreLike the famous sign says, Las Vegas is truly "fabulous."" Something after more? Comma or . . . and small l?
P3:  "My heart races just thinking about this place, with it's bright blue skies painted the ceiling so that you actually feel as though you're outside in the middle of the day, when in reality you are inside and it's midnight." painted the ceiling? painted on the ceiling?  what am I missing? " We grazed through the lobby . . . " grazed makes me think you ate your way through the lobby - did you mean gazed?  (oh, that spell checker!) 
P4:  "Cirque frequently runs specials that customers can redeem by going on the website and checking for promotion codes. Because of this, our group was able to see a $100+ dollar show for a little over half the price. "  Cirque freguenty runs specials on their website.  By using the website's promotion code, our group was able to save approximately 60% on show tickets  ??? (or 55%)
Nice remix of your own piece!!

 .

 

 

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