Feedback to Me

 Genetically engineered (G.E.) food has become very common in the United States, and there are not warning labels on this food.  However, the public opinion is split between two sides of this issue. Some people are for genetically modified foods because they believe it is the best solution to solve world hunger and malnutrition. It is also thought to be beneficial, because crops are less likely to be destroyed by pests, bad weather, and herbicides. "Genetically modified foods are not only harmful to one’s health, but to the environment and should be banned because there are unpredictable and irreversible risks which are caused when consuming these foods" (Rosenthal).   (i think you forgot quotes here) 

     With genetically engineered (G.E.) (not nessary) food there are many challenges ahead for the government, especially in the areas of safety testing, regulation, international policy ,and food labeling. Under current regulations, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration does not require labeling of G.E. food products. Only organic food that is certainly not genetically modified, because organic is the only federally regulated food label that prohibits the use of G.E. foods. It is not wise to purchase regular food in a grocery stores because of the (possible )health risks it could cause (delete). The research done on G.E. foods is incomplete. Studies show different affects that this food can cause, and it is unknown what long-term effects that this food will cause to the human body. 

     Although this could solve world hunger, that currently is not an issue in the United States.  Genetically modified organisms are harmful to humans and should be labeled properly. A number of genetically modified organisms (G.M.O) have been approved for human consumption, but concerns over safety persist in the public. Allergens and toxicity, which are caused by proteins, are the major (reasons for the) concerns. Why is America keeping people from being informed of everything they are consuming in these products? “ American biotechnology companies were fierce opponents of labeling G.M. products, arguing that, since there are no proven health threats, the public has no need to know about the genetic modifications” (Callahan).

One fact I read about in your first essay, about how the FDA does NOT require labeling of G.E. food products but that organic food is the only federally regulated food label that prohibits the use of G.E. foods was quite interesting. I also like how you keep putting in the fact that they do not know the long-term side effects of this kind of food, yet that hasn’t stopped them from mass production and distribution of G.E. foods.

In your rough draft for the wiki, I like how you brush on the topic about it being really necessary to G.E. foods to feed our populations, but that ultimately it could be bad for us. I think you are headed in a really good direction keep it up!-Amber

Feedback from Andrea 

Ehle, right off the bat, I want to know what FDA stands for. There is a quote at the very beginning and I want to know what FDA is, and how it relates to genetically engineered food. I'm going to take one paragraph from this entire essay, and edit it. I will post a link on here to it. Doing this makes it easier for me.- Andrea

Ehle, I would reword this sentence: "The research done on genetically engineered food is so incomplete, and they are unsure how it will effect our bodies," or somehow combine it with your opening sentence, and use it to start your paper. Saying that it could "possibly" be harmful starts it a little weak since it possibly could not be as well. Write as though you are trying to convince someone who thinks everything is A-ok or someone who is completely unaware. I haven't read your whole paper, but I will later. This is just what struck me right off.- April

Feedback from Me

To David:

As a sports fan growing up in America, what sport do you play? This is the question asked by young kids in our country. (good hook, deffinitley will interest the reader- but it is a little confusing.. instead maybe: As a sports fan in America, what is the main sport played today? I don't know exactly where you are trying to go with this but try to be more specific) To this day the sport known as America's (need possesive ' - also maybe be more specific in this sentence)sport is baseball. Since the 21st century the label of baseball being Americas sport has been second guessed (reword this) by younger children these days(repetitive "these days"). Baseball is clearly Americas sport to this day, for reason from the past and present. (give reasoning here for why you think baseball in americas favorite sport to this day, elaborate your case)Our  (instead: my, or the) objective should be to inform our new generations why baseball is still Americas sport and always will be. 

     Baseball is known as Americas sport for many different reasons. (i would put this sentence in first paragraph) One reason is due to the history of the game. (state reasons in first paragraph before you go into the body) "If there is any sport out there with history and tradition it is baseball." (citation needed here) For example baseball made a major impact in U.S history by starting a change in the color barrier. Segregation was a major problem in our country by not allowing any african Americans to play in the major leagues. Jackie Robinson was the first african american play to have the opportunity to play with the best players in the world. This opportunity was given to Jackie by Brooklyn Dodgers general manager, Branch Rickey. Branch called signing Jackie Robinson as "great experiment". That "great experiment" made major impact on our country for the best, by starting to movement that everybody is created equal.

keep up the good work, here is some advice. More will come when I continue to see where you are taking us with this! - Ehle

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