New Rough Draft:

Family Matters

Children should have a structured family when growing up!

By: Jenna Willard

     Children think that having parents that care or worry about them is such a pain, but in reality having a parent that loves you so much really affects that child while growing up and later in their lives. Parent’s role during a child’s life when growing up is crucial for the way they will behave when they are a child, and an adult. A well structured family is a necessity for a child to live a healthy life during their developmental stages and also as an adult.  Personally, a well structured family to me is having people love and care about you, but they also teach you morals and other life lessons. There have been many studies about what types of parenting helps affects a child during their lives. To further understand the importance of a well structured family a child needs, one needs to understand the investigation from different studies that shows a child needs the care and love from their family to live a “normal life.” How is that a problem these days, that children are not growing up in a normal household? There are many young teenagers who are having kids at young ages who are not fully responsible to have children. How can a child raise a child and give them a structured childhood? There are people having kids that they do not even care about, they just pawn them off on the nanny’s, babysitters, or daycare centers.

            A parent must give their child more than the normal food, shelter, and clothing. A child needs to receive love and affection from their parents in order to have proper self- esteem. A child needs to feel secure, love and wanted in the family structure. This shows the child how to love themselves and others. Harry Harlow, a famous psychologist in the 1950’s, conducted an experiment with monkeys and whether or not an infant needs nature or nurture.

      His experiment involved infant monkeys and two surrogate mothers, one made with wire and had food and the other made with cloth. The monkey was given the option to which mother he would prefer to be with. Despite the time the monkey had to go to the mother with food to eat, he spent the rest of the time cuddling with the mother who was made out of the cloth. “During the experiment, the monkeys were frightened by strange, loud objects, such as teddy bear beating drums, the monkeys raised by the terry cloth surrogates and rubbed up against them and eventually claimed down. When the monkeys were by the wire surrogate, the reaction was different to the sounds, they began throwing themselves on the floor, clutching themselves, rocking back and forth, and screaming in terror” (The Adoption History Project). The monkeys were isolated for the first eight months of their life which life the monkey permanently damaged. “They concluded that the impact of early maternal deprivation could be reversed in monkeys only if it had lasted less than 90 days, and estimated that the equivalent for humans was six months. After these critical periods, no amount of exposure to mothers or peers could alter the monkeys’ abnormal behaviors and make up for the emotional damage that had already occurred. When emotional bonds were first established was the key to whether they could be established at all.” (The Adoption History Project)This experiment shows that a baby monkey, in humans it probably would be the same case too, will choose to be with someone they can feel love, warmth, and care instead of staying with something that will just feed them and do nothing else.

                Besides having the nurture of a parent, a child needs to have a stable living arrangement if they are going to contribute to the society.  A family is responsible to feed and clothe their kids. A proper education is essential for a child. Some form of religious belief should be discussed in the home. Someone the mother, father, or any loved one does not really matter who, but should be employed. Parents should teach their kids how to react in social environments, that way they do not become isolated when they encounter other people. It is important for the family to do things together, “a family that plays together stays together” (Learn about Child Development). Most importantly a family needs to teach their child how to love.  Having a well structured family gives a child the chance to learn how to act with people when they are a young and as an adult.

            Do children spending too much time in a daycare affect them when growing up? Well, one study funded by the National Institutes of Health, surveyed whether a child’s family life has more influence on the child’s development through the age of four and a half than a child’s experience in a child care. “Child care clearly matters to children’s development, but family characteristics — and children’s experiences within their families — appear to matter more,” stated from Duane Alexander, M.D., Director of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. This study was worked on for 15 years; researchers from ten sites around the country had followed the development of more than 1,000 healthy children across the United States. The study included children from ethnically diverse and economically disadvantaged households, and more than 80 percent of the children apart of this study grew up in two-parent families. “There were many results that came from this one was that children that received higher quality child care were better able to think, respond, and interact with the world around them, and had somewhat  better reading and math skills rather than children who received lower quality child care. Children who had spent 30 or more hours in a child care per week showed problems in child care and in Kindergarten (but not at home) had more episodes of minor illness. Overall, children who had attended child care centers had somewhat better language, social skills, and better pre-academic skills involving letters and numbers, but they showed somewhat more problem behavior when they first entered school than other children who experienced different types of child care settings” (National Health Institute). Child care centers are a good way for children to become involved and interact with other children, but it is important for a child to spend time with their family and learn from them more than at a child care center.

            Why would a parent not want to give their child a healthy development when growing up? It is unfortunate if the family undergoes mass media problems such as televisions, radios, divorce, or latch-key but it is a parents key role to make sure that regardless of anything occurring outside of their house they need to be there for their child. For example, a child is exposed to the televisions and radios projecting violence, but it is important that the parents are making sure that the child is watching something appropriate for their age. Divorce is a problem that occurs every often these days, but the parents need to be sure not to make the child knows that it is not their fault for the parents not being able to be together. The latch-key is defined as making sure someone is home when the child is home. “It is not a stable environment when a child is in an empty home” (Learn about Child Development).

            Despite all the negative factors that can occur in a child’s life a parent or family can make sure that their child lives a healthy life by using different parenting styles in the household. “One style of discipline can be the autocratic style which is when parents telling their child what to do, how to behave and when to do something without any room for flexibility” (How Parenting Styles Affect Children).  The only down fall about this style is that the child is not able to think for themselves because they are always told what to do. “Parents can use a permissive style while raising their child which is the opposite of autocratic parents because they provide little or no structure for their children and allow them to do as they please” (How Parenting Styles Affect Children).  Another way for a house to have structured rules is the parents using authoritative style. Authoritative style is in the in the middle between autocratic and permissive parenting styles. The authoritative parenting style provides one of the most structured environments by using routines, setting limits, enforcing rules, and also flexible and supportive. Children benefit greatly having living with authoritative parents because they learn how to function in a structured environment, problem solve, gain independence, and make healthy decisions (How Parenting Styles Affect Children).      

                To recapitulate, a child needs to live a structured life as a child in order to have a healthy life as an adult.  Parents and the child’s family are responsible for making sure that the child is providing with the proper clothing, food, shelter, care, and love. A family needs to give the child a structured home in order to make sure the child will live a “normal life” and live normally also later in life.  Just remember that the relationship a parent has with their child is the most important thing that child can have in their life.